OLD UPDATES

Many people have asked for the first updates sent by e-mail. This post contains those e-mails.

Date: Monday, May 25, 2009, 10:42 PM

JR finished chemo (14 wks) and radiation (7 wks/ daily). We thought we would have a celebration, but he was in too much pain. Of course it was a great event / last day. The radiation people gave us the hated hood (covered head, neck and upper shoulders) to take home. When Jr feels better we are going to use it for target practice! It carries his blood-stains. Every day when they took it off him, they would spray it w/ water to try to soak his burned skin loose, but would inevitably have to pull his skin off to remove the hood. He told me this morning that he didn't think he could have stood one more day of that. It had to be very bad for him to say that. Before they started I told them he was tough and would endure (throat radiation is the worse they said because of the thin, sensitive skin), and at the end they told me that now the whole staff knew it to be true. They said it was a pleasure to work w/ him. He didn't fuss and cry; just endured.

Sometimes we would hear the nurses talking about people who wouldn't come in for treatments. We didn't understand at first, but over the past wks we learned that it is because the pain and sickness can be so bad that many people won't or can't finish them. Over and over, we've heard, "Cancer can kill you, but the treatments can make you want to die." Jr never expressed that, but there were plenty who did / do.
Everybody wants to know when we will know if they got the cancer and if he will get his voice back. It will be July 1 for follow-up scans. It has truly been a "One day at a time" thing. Now we will start thinking about what's next. We have an appt. w/ chemo oncology doc tomorrow. But it will be a while before Jr is healed enough from the treatment to consider a follow-up surgery that 2 doctors have mentioned.

We can not thank everybody enough for your concern and prayerful support. I hesitate to name people because the list is too long. Our pastor, his wife and church family (here) have provided food and have offered every kind of help and support possible, esp. prayers. Others have given their time like Ben and Elaine who cleaned, cooked & tilled my pitiful garden; Daniel has swapped shifts to see doctors w/ his dad; Bonnie, Donnell & Jeni have driven up here to help me plus keep P's kids; Vickie took a week off work to help (in addition to cost of flight); Steve & Blake have been patient w/ my busy schedule (5 - 8 hrs a day for treatments - including driving time); David & Glenda drove 7 hrs so he could take Jr to treatments so I could write; ... there's just too many people to thank!
Phaedra and Clyde have been at our beck & call throughout, though we've tried not to call too many times. There is nothing they have not "joyfully" volunteered to do for us even though 3 little ones and 2 jobs keep them plenty busy. And when so many are repelled by the feeding tube, P&C's little darlings (or he calls them the "wild bunch") compete to flush "papa's" tube, and they have been so careful w/ his "bobo's" and pray faithfully for him aloud.
People tell me that they learn from these updates. It has been a learning experience for us too. It has helped having visitors. Obviously we like our solitude or we wouldn't be living where we do, but it is kinda scary being here on the mountain far from a hospital when Jr is choking & strangling (which he does often). People always ask, "How can you have so much company?" One reason is that it is comforting to me because though Daniel and a doctor showed me how to do a trake, and I have a kit w/ scalpel and tubing -- the thought that I'd have to cut Jr's throat, esp. right next to his jugular, gives me the spookies! (He's not altogether comfortable w/ the idea either.)
Our visitors have learned that I don't have to energy to "host" like I used to, and the dinners may be strange depending on what Jr feels like, but this is a strange time. When David and Glenda were here, Jr wanted fried and baked fish w/ Lima beans so that's what I fixed. They graciously acted like that was a tasty menu.
The battle is not over, but please know how much we appreciate you. Without the peace and strength of God I wouldn't have made it through the past months without becoming a blithering basket case & JR may not have had the strength to endure what he has. A day has not passed that he hasn't received at least one card, usually more. Knowing that people are praying and care is uplifting. This is long, but I haven't sent anything in a while and am getting lots of emails and calls fussing because they haven't heard so ...
On Jr's final radiation day we had a real adult slumber party (following Phaedra's surgery Wed.). My mother, Jr's mother, his sister, Ben, Elaine, Donnell and Ranny were here and Daniel, Steph & Hagen came Sat night.
Thank you and keep praying PBC, Floy Mae, CO and TN friends, cousins, etc.....
God bless & keep you healthy!


Monday, May 18, 2009, 6:54 PM

We met w/ the radiation doctor today and found out that the pain medicine had "Take 1 teaspoon every 4 hrs" when it should have said, "Take 4 to 5 teaspoons every 4 hrs" so that explains why he's been in such pain. This pic was taken after 2 wks of new cream that is holding everything together better. It looks better in this pic than real life though. His beard hasn't grown any in wks. He quit shaving because of the chemo rash. His back is covered w/ the bumps still, and there's enough facial bumps that he can't shave yet, but he's just glad his nose is not still swelled 3 times as big and colored purple.

JR has been sick at his stomach, but the doc told us today it was because of stuff going on inside his throat (I'm giving you the cleaned up version because if I tell you exactly what the doctor said you'd lose your last meal! I know because I did.)

LAST chemo tomorrow!!!! Friday is the last radiation day!!!!! Then maybe he'll get hisvoice back pretty soon. Right now he claps his hands when he wants me. He claps a lot. We also have this code thing going. Since all the noises he makes are gasps, choke and gag, I tell him to gag once for "yes" and gasp, gag for "no", etc. Actually he did have a couple days last wk where he could talk kinda, but he won't go to a restaurant anymore because people stare at him like he's spastic or retarded because of the weird gagging noises he makes. (I know that is not the PC terms to use, but it is all I know to communicate what's going on so please don't email me w/ the righteous indignation; just delete it and forgive me. I'm in a hurry here. Jr will begin clapping any second.) And, oops there goes the clapping ... gotta go.

Friday, May 8, 2009, 5:58 PM

I've been asked to send these updates so people can give reports to their churches / SS classes on Sunday so ... you've probably heard people say, "God works in mysterious ways", well one of His ways to answer prayer for JR is to just have him sleep through a lot of the pain! He sleeps through hours of chemo and even went to sleep yesterday at radiation where his head and face (down to his collar bone) is encompassed in a hood that is hooked to a machine holding his head at such an angle that it is difficult for him to breath and swallow. It takes between 20 and 30 min. average for them to get everything lined up, etc. ANd yet he went to sleep!

Yesterday there was a man (and his family) getting chemo for the first time and of course they were all scared, and the man was sitting beside Jr who slept for 3 hrs. straight. During that time I was reassuring the man and his family that chemo was doable. It helped them to see JR sleeping because they said it couldn't be too bad if he could sleep so well through it -- plus when it is somebody's last day at chemo they ring a big bell and everybody applauds! Jr slept through 4 "graduations" w/ bells and applause!

Please thank your friends and churches for their prayers! God is hearing and answering. Though Jr's neck and below is burned up several skin layers deep, and though they say most people are on morphine at this point he is not even taking the prescription pain killer he was prescribed. He is bandaged up like a mummy w/ special burn salves, etc., can't talk and gasps, gags and chokes, but he's doing GREAT!! That feeding tube all the docs said he would need because only a very few could take it and continue to swallow -- he's still eating under his own power. Admittedly not the same foods he used to eat. He's also still having the pregnancy -type cravings: Beenie Weenies, boiled eggs, cheetoes, hot tamales, etc. this week. Phaedra hurries to the store and drives all the way out here anytime he tells her about his cravings and Daniel brought frozen fish and crayfish up when he came.

After today's radiation, we will have only 10 days left (May 22) of 7 wks radiation and 12 wks of chemo. He is only using the feeding tube enough to keep it cleared.

Yesterday was National Day of Prayer and though he is VERY heat / sun - sensitive, we delayed his treatments so we could attend the NDofP at the town square. As you probably heard, Obama refused to attend or even recognize the Day -- even though we have troops in harm's way who need prayer. Dr. James Dobson, a respected man of our time, said yesterday that this was the first time in decades that one of the president's cabinet did not attend their day of prayer ceremonies. He said the White House did not even acknowledge any of their emails and calls. JR was determined to participate in the day's ceremonies because if our nation ever needed God's help it is NOW... he couldn't sing or talk, but he was there in his mummy bandages and pimp hat.

So please share our thanks for all your prayers. We feel them! I feel so sorry for people who don't have prayer-warriors willing to take the time and effort to lift them up. Again, thanks for all the cards, calls, emails, visits, etc. We appreciate YOU. To God be the glory!