More OLD UPDATES...

Not sure about the date on this one...

Okay, I've gotten umpteen calls and emails about a new update, but I'm a little intimidated now (yes, it is possible) because I've found out that some people are forwarding these emails to other people all over the country who are sending it out to other people, etc. Since I'm very pushed for time these days I haven't proofed the updates I sent out because it was just to friends and family who would excuse and understand the spelling and gramatical errors. Also, since I do a little writing, it's embarrassing to know that so many strangers have been reading my illiterate sounding updates. Now I'm hearing from strangers to put them on my email list ...

I did have somebody who was offended about my "making jokes about cancer" and since I don't want to offend anybody, I explained to her sweetly that I don't have the time, inclination or tact to labor over these updates just to please ultra-sensitive people ... so I was removing her from my address book. That's what the delete key is for, folks. I just write it as we live it. If that's not serious enough for some people, hit the delete key.

As of today JR has an infection of the stomach feeding tube which causes some gross probs that you don't want to hear about. We did find out that not all tubes are so big. A friend showed me his and it was a little thing, maybe 2 inches long and skinny. JR's is thick and at least 6 in... long so that it flops around everywhere. Jr thinks they ran out of regular tubing and used part of a water hose for his. So if and when you get one, ask for the little dainty ones.

His neck and collar-bone areas are burned badly from the radiation so that he doesn't like to wear shirts because they rub the bleeding places. I'm glad he didn't have cancer below the waist or he'd be running around bottomless! I took my scissors and altered some of his shirts so that they no longer have collars or upper parts so he basically dresses like a rag man now.

He gags, chokes and gasps quite often from the tumor and swelling caused from the radiation and he isn't able to talk. Eating is limited too. My nights are spent listening to him try to breathe. The docs are giving him extra bags of IV w/ vitamins to keep him hydrated. He did not have a port put in which means they are using his veins for each chemo and IV treatment. He is still having strange and sudden food cravings so I'm kept busy trying to satisfy those, but everything pretty much tastes like cardboard so the dogs are eating better these days. With the food cravings and the nausea he reminds me of a pregnant woman except he doesn't have the hormonal / crying stuff that goes along w/ it which is a real blessing. Have you tried to find chicken gizzards lately?

Some people are telling me that these updates are helping their friends and relatives who have cancer relate. That's nice. Today was the first day of 4 more weeks of daily radiation and weekly chemo. It may sound as though JR is having a tough time, but he is really doing well -- better than most. And yes, his spiritual and emotional state is still very good, but the physical part still has to be endured, well, unless God sends a miracle, which I believe Jr has had in some areas. He has not thrown up yet and that was his main dread. Neither of us are complaining. Daniel was here 2 days last wk and Phaedra and Clyde are always willing to help out - as are their 3 little ones. Living in 4 states in 9 yrs has given us a wide range of friends who are prayer warriors, and they are faithful to pray. We feel the peace that only comes from God. Words are inadaquate to express our appreciation! Thanks and God bless you.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009, 6:58 AM

Jr had feeding tube check-up. That nurse jerked on his hose and reved it up tighter to stop leaking (more information than you wanted?) and they sonogramed his leg for a blood clot but decided it was an edema whatever that is. FYI - chemo can cause blood clots 'cause they suck blood from other body parts / that's what we were told & long trips like we took are dangerous. NOW they tell us.

On to the radiation. It was after 6 pm before we left. We were the last ones leaving the building because Jr's 3 million $$ machine's motor died and they had to put a new one on -- while he lay there in the head / face covering mask so tight he couldn't even talk. After an hr his blood pressure shot up. His face and neck are still broke out from the chemo so that makes his skin tender for the radiation but he shouldn't get burned until next week - we were told. He will do this 5 days a wk for 7 wks. They said the neck skin is the tenderest and the throat is the toughest for radiation.
Unfortunately a man was in there sitting in his gown beside Jr waiting his turn whose neck was burned open - w/ holes. Jr asked him how long he'd been taking radiation (7 wks) and then felt bad because it hurt him to talk and he tried. (I know this was his 7th wk because I asked the nurse about him.)

We also met w/ the radiation doctor who mentioned the same thing that the Houston doc did about the cancer having eaten into the cartilege except he went into more detail about the eaten away part. It's gone for good so we're hoping it is not a part he will miss a lot! We were told it has damaged his hearing. I've told JR not to repeat anything he THINKS he hears. Also, the doc said that the cancer in the lymph nodes were big clumps enough to get some good glows in the scans so they are hitting that hard w/ radiation too. Well, folks, we still need a miracle so keep praying. Jr and I are both feeling the love and peace of God. People keep telling us we need to have breakdown cries to help us through this so I asked Jr if he wanted to, but he said he didn't feel the need. Then he asked me if I felt the need, but I don't either. Though if he gets holes in his neck, we may have some breakdown cries then. (I've never heard the term before, but it is kind of catchy.)

I got my biopsy results and looks like JR and I won't be taking chemo together. That's a big praise! There's other things we can enjoy doing together.
Thanks for all the cards, $$$, ham, angel, turkey, cake, calls, scriptures, books, etc., but esp for the prayers!
Peace & grace,
e